Do Not Eat The Hand That Feeds You

I've always had a problem with quippy little sayings.  When things start sounding too peppy or too sweet, I get this uncontrollable urge to add a sarcastic addendum.  You know, to even things out.

I'm not sure if I've always been this way or if I am just recently jaded, but somehow I cannot bear the thought of a purely candy-land world.  I want a little cynicism now and then.  I prefer all things snarky.

Exclamation marks make me cringe.

Take these for instance: 

Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain.  But you can't make a rainbow without a little rain! 

Psychotic mumbo-jumbo.

(It almost killed me to add the exclamation mark on the end there.)

My wife will be my princess, but my mum will always be my queen. 

The man who coined this clearly knows nothing about women.  

Dream as if you will live forever. 

Now that's just plain stupid.

... But every now and then, I come across something so essentially true that I find I must overlook the cheesiness of it all.

Change your thoughts and you will change your life.

What we love determines what we seek.  What we seek determines what we think and do.  What we think and do determines what we become.  (Uchtdorrf)

... And that's more than enough for one blog post.  And, true to myself, I will now even things out with a few snarky sayings:

Life is hard. It's harder if you're stupid.  (John Wayne)

I'd agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

I don't hate people; I just feel better when they aren't around.  (Bukowski)

Or how about this quote from Downton Abbey
(and I do love Downton Abbey):

Lady Grantham: You are quite wonderful the way you see room for improvement wherever you look. I never knew such reforming zeal.
Mrs. Crawley: I take that as a compliment.
Lady Grantham: Oh.  I must've said it wrong.

Last but not least, what my fortune cookie told me:

Do not eat the hand that feeds you.