A Smattering of Unrelated Thoughts

Breakfast Yogurts: what began the craze for these kid-size, individually-packaged "1/3 fewer calories than regular lowfat" yogurt boxes? Notice how they've begun cramming every imaginable ingredient into these containers - not only are they full of fruit, but they also have your full fiber requirement for the entire week! And because of this, they have a delightful tooth-paste consistency! All for the low low price of 70 calories a thimbleful.

Work Rant: is it really necessary to specify, on a MEDICAL FORM, that if there is an emergency the teacher should call 911? "Oh, sweety, you're having an allergic reaction to air? Let me just check the binder to see what your mommy said we should do about that. . . Oh, right, call 911. Don't worry, hon, they should be here after you've turned purple, but just before you start looking green."

Starbucks (this one is for Ames): "I have a tall mocha, right here on the counter! I have a grande frappuchino, right here on the counter! I have a pint-size espresso, right here on the counter!" Well thank you for clarifying for the umpteenth time, Miss Barista, that you are putting the beverage on the COUNTER. Wouldn't want you to accidentally slip and set it on the floor! No, it's good, this way the people standing directly in front of the counter, waiting for their respective drinks, know that their drink is now on the counter. (And by the way, did you notice nobody ordered just plain coffee? That's because Pikes Roast is not coffee; it's expensive dirt.)

Movies: I'd like to thank whoever came up with the whole Fast Play idea. That thing is great. I can put the DVD in, walk away, and not be bothered with wading through the menu to hit PLAY. Concerning the rest of you producers who haven't clued in to the phenomenon yet - get with the program! Especially whoever made the Stuart Little movies. They have longest, slowest menu that was ever created - you can't hit PLAY until all the little sketches have appeared and Stuart has started waving (I've actually seen these a few million times).