Crayon Sketch of Hairy Monkey

... An elderly parishioner has stunned Spanish cultural officials with an alarming and unauthorised attempt to restore a prized Jesus Christ fresco. ... The once-dignified portrait now resembles a crayon sketch of a very hairy monkey in an ill-fitting tunic, he says. ... Art historians are expected to meet at the church soon to discuss how to proceed.  Mr Ojeda said: "I think she had good intentions. Next week she will meet with a repairer and explain what kind of materials she used.  "If we can't fix it, we will probably cover the wall with a photo of the painting."

You may have seen me link to this on FB yesterday, but I had to repost.  It is the funniest cultural tragedy I've ever seen (I'm still laughing).  Tim thinks I shouldn't be so happy about it.  He says, "Lauren!" - (like he does, when he finds me exasperating) - "It's kind of sad."  But, Tim, dear, it's also kind of hilarious.

It made me think of all those Sister Wendy documentaries I watched in high school for art appreciation.  If you're unfamiliar with Sister Wendy, she is described on Wiki as "a South African-born British nun, art expert, consecrated virgin and contemplative hermit," who, in my personal opinion, is guilty of over-interpretation.  You know, of the 'what the artist really meant to imply' variety.  Here we have his fifth self-portrait.  Or possibly a bowl of fruit.

In fact, my friend Sarah tweak-quoted her from an early video (and I'm still laughing about that, too):

"You see she's done something very daring here -- she's made this Jesus UGLY!"

... Which is all the funnier if you can hear it in a Sister Wendy voice, so watch this one : Thomas Gainsborough.  It's my favorite.  It's the one wherein Sister Wendy implies that Gainsborough has done something naughty with Mr. and Mrs. Andrews wedding portrait by capturing - unobtrusively in the far left-hand corner - how Mr. Andrews "looks totally uninteresting as a person, his clothes don't cohere, he's a yabo."  What's more: "I'm so glad that Gainsborough painted the dog, who clearly loves [Mr. Andrews], because one does think he's not going to get a lot of love from Francis Mary."  And then the kicker: How naughty of Gainsborough to paint, right here in the front (of his landscape piece, that featured the landscape) the corn-sheaves of fertility.  "Because," as Sister Wendy goes on to explain, "can you imagine these two talking to one another, let alone going further?"

Heaven forbid I ever paint anything that implies so much.  
Sister Wendy might critique it.

1 comment:

  1. Oh god, this made me cringe SO MUCH but also laugh hysterically. Can you believe that she started doing this and actually KEPT GOING?!


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