10/19/11

Nora Doesn't Like This Post


I was once told by a blogger I admire that the more you share about yourself, the better your blogging experience.  I can’t say I agree, but then, I wouldn’t know.  There is a great deal I would never write on a blog, much less say aloud to people I love.  

We’ve come a long way from the privacy of the hand-written journal, which, if you ask me, is kind of sad.  It is a beautiful art form meant to contain what we  cannot confide in another person; things better left unsaid and mercifully forgotten with time.  Or, at least, things by which we can later measure our progress.  Aside from the occasional misadventure, that is - you know, the kind wherein everyone learns a great deal about themselves and humanity from reading a private journal.

I always wondered what Anne Frank would say if she knew her secrets were well-read.

I doubt whether her writing would have been quite so profound.  We phrase things differently when presenting them to another person.  We are less honest.

Take me, for instance.  I’d rather write it off as fiction.  It might begin like this:

She had met her insecurities before; in fact, she knew them rather well. 

She being so vague and undefined, you know.  She could be anyone.  We could call her Nora and no one would be the wiser.  Or you might be perceptive and realize I am writing about myself (especially considering I just told you).

Recently I've been dealing with an onslaught of insecurities, the aftermath of a big decision that had to be made.  You know, the kind you think about until you cannot think clearly; the kind that makes you question who you are and what you want.  Thus the insecurities.  

In the interest of full disclosure (I never intended to use that phrase on this blog), I had to withdraw from the grad school program I was supposed to begin in January.   It just isn't the right time.  She says, vaguely.

The point of all this (and yes, there is one) is that I've reached a conclusion about how I want my life to be, despite the disappointments.  You won't mind if I sum it up with a few anonymous and somewhat-cliche quotes, will you?  Nora thinks you might.

"Change your thoughts and you will change your world."

I have decided that I am going to stop criticizing who I am.  To embrace the creative-free-spirited-artist I feel inside of me.  To view my life as beautiful even if it doesn't go as planned. 

"You do what you do, and they do what they do."

I have decided to stop measuring myself against other people.  I intend to spend the next couple years exploring Europe, raising my kid, getting involved in my church community, working online, making art, writing and editing and querying agencies, and a few other things I won't mention just yet. 

"Be so happy that when others look at you, they become happy too."

I have decided to be happy.



{ Source }


... Nora thinks this post is cheesy.

8 comments:

  1. But Courtney likes it :)

    I pray all the truth in this post surrounds you everyday!

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  2. I have decided Nora is very much my friend. You current outlook is refreshing.

    I still keep a private diary. I find it cathartic to hand write my thoughts and feelings and know that no will see them. Well until I am dead anyway. Then I wont care.

    I'm sorry about your grad program.

    ctny

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  3. great post!
    there have been many times I wished I could truly write certain things on my blog but felt if i did I would loose some of my blogger friends.
    to be able to express yourself 100%.
    maybe I will
    I love how you wrote,"Change your thoughts and you will change your world."
    I will be writing that in my journal and prob. put on the side of my blog.
    we only live once, right?
    lets all be real and express who we are.
    thank you for posting this post!

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  4. this was such an inspiration to me this morning. thank you so much for writing this.

    i agree with you about the journal thing; i nearly jumped for joy when i read that. the beauty and honesty in your own private journal truly can't be duplicated--not in content and not in the freedom it gives us to be exactly who we are. unedited and without apology. :)

    timing really is everything. sometimes time doesn't give us what we think it will. and that's okay. exciting, even. it sounds like you are certainly going to be embarking on some incredible new adventures as it is. :)

    p.s. love that quote.

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  5. Nice blog post, not cheesy at all.

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  6. i keep a journal still too. how many have you written by now?

    you sound happy. i'll be able to tell for sure when i see your face. :]

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  7. Love this post Lauren...your honesty is lovely.

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( hippies always welcome )