Well, Goodbye Then.

photo source
Have you ever known someone for a long time and then sort of just .... lost touch?

Sometimes it's easy.  You know, it happens naturally, with time.  You go from the thick of things to ... nothing.  It isn't offensive, really; it's mutual.

Eventually someone asks, "Who is that with you, in that picture?"  And you say something like, "Oh, that was this girl I used to know when I was a kid."  What's more, you remember the oddest things about her.  "She locked me out of my own house once, and then made faces at me through the window while I stood out in the snow."

Occasionally, you can't remember why you lost touch.  Or how, exactly.  You feel a vague discomfort in the idea that perhaps you should've tried harder to keep them in your life ... and then life goes on and you forget about them again.

The worst kind, though, are the ones you can't forget.  Sure, your lives have gone separate ways and you've made your peace with that .... but somehow, in the back of your head, you sort of wish they were still around.  There was this conversation you never got to finish, or a feeling you never fully explored.  Maybe you just hit it off - you know, those rare people you meet sometimes who just get you.  And, in turn, you really get them too.

But now, for whatever reason, it's over.  Simply and inexplicably over, if that makes any sense.

You'd think we'd learn to keep better track of each other.

... Or something.


  1. You are 100% right. Too often I see, and do,others keep track of the people in &/0r out of life through viewing their facebook. But what's stopping anyone from picking up the phone, taking a drive over, even making a simple message?

  2. Very well said. You've said it all so I don't have much to add...those friendships nag at me at various times but I don't know how to take the next step toward becoming friends again. Thanks for writing this :)

  3. love this. I was writing something about this a few days ago - but it turned out a bit too dark and honest for my blog :) Also love the pictures, the layout and your header!

  4. Nostalgia has been evoked.. I feel like I should call a few old friends..

  5. oh so true!
    I try to tell my daughter that the friends she has now shw will proabably be seperated from once she graduates and then she nakes new friends in her new life and career and such as an adult. Living in a milatery town(think i spelled that wrong)so many of her friends go away, happened to my son too and to me, because a lot of our neighbors (almost all of them) are in the army or airforce.
    I can think of so many people i have lost touch with, some i let go of and some that let go of me. I graduated in 1992 and still keep in touch with my English teacher. did find a lot of people on facebook but deleted my account.

  6. Definitely been there. I think we are all haunted now and then by the people in our past. Facebook I think has helped many, but in the end not as much as a real conversation would.

    Hmmmm wonder what Jamie is up too....

  7. I was thinking about this just the other day, so its wonderful to come here and read about so beautifully written. I have 300 something friends on FB and I know every one of them. I have these wonderful little "bumps" where one of them will randomly say "hi" that I haven't spoken to in ages. I live 4200miles away from home in another continent and FB is a lifeline for me. When I log in its kind of like walking down my local high street back home and bumping into someone I went to school with but wouldnt necessarily have stayed in contact with. Those "bumps" are awesome I feel more connected now than I did when I was there. My old acquintances from school who prior to FB were lost read my blog and send me the most beautiful private messages. I have had two people though recently that this has happened with and thats why your blog today is so poignant. One didn't remember us being friends (for two years)and I have those vivid memories you talk about... not locked out in the snow but the same idea and the other took from me and destroyed something I love. She exited from my life telling me that she had done nothing to me and she couldnt understand why I was upset. I miss who she was before that all happened, I miss that friendship that I thought would never end. Thank you for letting me feel less alone.

  8. so true. i moved out of my hometown a few years ago and now i've just fallen out of touch with so many people. it makes me sad that the people who were once such an important part of my life are now just "old friends from a long time ago"...

  9. Ugh I sooo hear you. I find that as someone without kids, I lose touch with many friends who do become parents, because they are just suddenly to busy and all that jazz....I know it's part of life and it's rhythm but it still really sucks all the same!


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