Leaving on a Jet Plane

July 25^th is our Official Date of Departure.   

Because that is when the plane leaves.

Our redeye flight will go something like this: Atlanta to Toronto to Iceland to Denmark, with a layover here and a layover there.  But the main thing is that the tickets were cheap!  Relatively.  You can’t actually get “cheap” tickets from the States to Europe.

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Dreading, dreading, dreading.  Dreading.

Now that we are positively committed to go (pending graduation, contract signed, tickets purchased, visas applied for, etc.), I am mentally preparing myself for the travel agenda.  With a check list.

• Find some kind of drug that will actually put me to sleep for the long flight in the middle.  (I use an over the counter drug called Ultradorm.  Don’t take the whole thing, just half, and you’ll wake up without even the tiniest hangover.  If you can identify the source of this paraphrase, you win).
• Find some kind of all-natural substance that will help the kiddo sleep.   Not benadryl or beer.
• Begin training Isaac to wear headphones so I can preoccupy him with movies on the plane.  (If this experience turns out anything like that time I took him to a 3D film, I’m in for a real treat.)
• Buy a hearty supply of cheap paperback novels.  Light, edge-of-the-seat, page-turner types.  Suggestions, anyone?  And please, no vampires.
• Also collect a hearty supply of Fun Stuff to Occupy He-Child.  What’d’ya think?  Whoopie cushion?  Silly string?  GI Joe’s with plastic parachutes? 
• Figure out how take the tyke-in-trainers to the airplane porta-potty without getting stuck in there.  Must be some kind of trick for this.  (He’s got the Fisher Price Froggy Potty thing down pat, but I’m not sure about the airplane toilet – suction away!  Plus whenever he goes in the toilet – he always screams: IT’S NICE!  Or possibly:  IT’S NASTY!  - I’m not sure – and then raises his arms over his head and does this weird little victory dance which could complicate the escape strategy).

So . . . if you’ve got any suggestions pertaining to traveling with a kiddo, let me know.

I will spend the entire trip wishing for my bed,

and in my mind's eye it will be sticking its tongue out at me, 

smirking.

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Exactly like this.