The Few, The Proud, The 238

Last week I received a singularly hilarious rejection letter from Writer's House.  (You may recall I've been sending out queries regarding my recently completed children's book.)  Usually when I find those generic and vague rejections in my inbox, I throw something of a brief pity-party in my head.  This one, however, was anything but generic.

To begin, I received a series of rejections from Writer's House, all within a single morning.  A standard rejection, followed by an automated message instructing me to please disregard previous notifications, followed by the same standard rejection yet again, and then topped off with the funniest email of the lot.

For whatever reason, the agent's assistant mailed out a third rejection letter, only en masse.  No less than 238 hopeful writers received the exact same email, along with full access to all 238 email addresses.

I'm not sure if this faux pas was accidental, a private joke, or mere unprofessionalism (or perhaps the agent in question was just having a bad day), but for those of you who haven't had the pleasure of querying literary agencies, this is simply not done.  Have a look:

Dear Author,  Dear 1 of 238 Authors I have to mail a standard reply to,  

Thank you for your submission to Writers House and for your patience as we considered your query.  I regret to inform you that we will not pursue representation.  While your work certainly has merit, it simply isn’t right for our list.  

Please don't be discouraged.  This decision does not comment on the salability of your work, but rather on our present needs and time restraints.  I urge you to seek another opinion if you have not already done so.  Good luck finding the right home for your work, and thank you for thinking of Writers House. 

I wish you success in finding representation.

... So on, so forth.

Since then I have accumulated just under 100 individual emails from my fellow 237 writers.  Funnier still, some of them didn't even query the agency.  

An editor of a well-known publishing company (who also seems to have made it on the list), has mentioned submitting said chain mail to the New Yorker.  Because, why not. 

There has also been talk of taking said agency to court for Double (or possibly quadruple) Jeopardy (as everyone knows, it clearly states that you can't be rejected twice for the same manuscript).

There is a badge.  (Yes, someone made one.)

There is a Facebook page entitled: The Few, The Proud, The 238! 

We have all been asked out for a sympathy beer.  Or two. 

The writing of a group-book has been discussed (with no less than 238 authors).  We're going to round-robin it.

And yes, stanzas have been written, and Tennyson has been quoted (and revised).  Take note: 

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Rejection emails
Rode the two hundred thirty eight.
'Forward, the Writing Brigade!
Charge for the publishing houses!' he said:
Into the valley of Rejection emails
Rode the two hundred thirty eight.
'Forward, the Writing Brigade!'
....Mass rejection emails to the right of them,
Mass rejection emails to the left of them,
Mass rejection emails in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with words and the single stroke of a key...,
Boldly they wrote and well,
... When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wonder'd.
Honor the charge they made!
Honor the Writing Brigade,
Noble two hundred thirty eight! 

- by Nelda (I'd cite you properly but I don't know your full name).

And last but not least, there is talk of mailing a 238-Mass-Repeat-Query-Letter to the agency in question.  God help them.

Carry on, Dear Writing Brigade.  

And best of luck.