2012 In FB Status Updates, So Far


This morning when he left for work, Tim said, "Du er min skat," and naturally I said, "I'm a mean cat?" and he replied, "You're my treasure. Or my tax. It means both."

What I read in my Danish textbook today: Danskerne drikker meget kaffe. Vi drikker morgenkaffe, formiddagskaffe, eftermiddagskaffe, aftenkaffe, og så er der selvfølgelig kaffepauserne... I Danmark drikker vi ca. 20 millioner kopper kaffe om dagen. Det svarer til, at hver indbygger drikker 4 kopper om dagen. Danmark er den tredje mest kaffedrikkende nation i verden, kun overgået af Finland og Sverige.  Rough translation for my fellow American coffee lovers: Denmark is the third most coffee drinking nation in the world. Danes drink approx. 20 million cups of coffee a day (about 4 cups a day per inhabitant!) This includes morning, afternoon, and evening coffee, as well as coffee breaks. Did I move to the right country or what.

Isaac has commandeered my laundry basket and is using it as a sailboat with a spatula sticking out the side for the mast. (And by laundry basket I do mean cardboard box, because the actual laundry basket wouldn't fit in the linen closet).

It is only noon and Isaac is already wearing his fifth outfit of the day. Let's see, there was The Pee Incident; The Peanut Butter Incident; The Play-Dough Incident; and my favorite: The Chopstick and Tomato Incident (it was a huge hit, and to think I never once considered eating tomatoes with chopsticks before). Guess I have to do laundry or he'll have nothing to wear after his daily Milk Incident.

I got waved at several times while out running this morning. I didn't recognize any of them. If I do happen to know you, belated hi. Also, my apologies for glowering at you. I'd been running in the wind for 45 minutes and had lost all control of my facial muscles. To all eleven pre-teen bean-pole boys who ran past me at a breakneck speed: I hate you. You're making me feel inadequate.

I think I have discovered The Secret to Nap Time (on Thursday the 1st, at 1:50 PM). Build a fort over the bed - and WALA! He laid down, pointed to his cheek, said "want kiss," and then said "get out." After all these years, if only I'd known the solution was so simple.

I seem to have been bombarded by spam overnight. "Please cash this check for me or my wicked step-mother will steal my inheritance!" "Dating local Arab men, now available in your area!" "We offer you sexual happiness for really cheap." (I am literally quoting these subject lines.)

If a seagull flew into your bathroom, what would you do about it?

We bought some heart-shaped balloons for Isaac yesterday. This morning he ran into the bedroom with a pink one and said, "Mama! look! boobies!" (Which, incidentally, is exactly what the top of a heart-shaped balloon looks like, nipples and all.)

On A Thursday: To anyone who receives my blog emails, yes I did write Happy Wednesday in my post this morning. That's the kind of morning I'm having.

I ran my first half-marathon this morning.  My feet hurt.

I cannot for the life of me get Isaac to answer the question "What's your name" with "Isaac." He knows it's his name; he responds when called; I've heard him say it as clear as day. But the last two times I asked him the question he said "Mike" and then "Bob." The little stinker.

He took his clothes off an hour ago and refuses to put them back on. At least he makes an adorable little nudist, if a stubborn one at that.

Tim: where's our child?
Me: Crawling on the floor under the blanket like A Mammoth Slug.  (Where Else?)

Isaac got a styrofoam sword today. That's it. He has a sword now. And then we had a mid-afternoon sword fight, and he figured out that THE SPATULA IS BETTER THAN THE SWORD! ... My life is now over.

I really wish I had a cat.

Tim is now playing "Whiskey Lullaby" on his guitar.  I may have to drink to deal with this.

It's snowing. :( I'm on Pinterest, pinning photos of beach houses.

Well I've decided. Danish candy is disgusting. I think I just ate a urinal cake.

Searching through my friends list to find a last name for a literary character. My apologies if I pick you because this character turns out to be a sleezeball.

Alone in her room with her principles

Us in our mustaches (insert photo of my siblings and me wearing fake mustaches). 

P.S.  Yes, for those of you who receive my email updates, I did originally title this "2011 in Status Updates, So Far" - Clearly I forgot what year it was. 


  1. This is awesome! It took me a minute to remember these were statuses. I was thinking "Man, she's really got a lot of thoughts today."

    The urinal cake was about where I remembered because I remembered that one.

    My new, and also my maiden, last name are pretty good choices for either a sleezeball or hero, so, you have my blessing. :p

    I hope you and your Mammoth Slug and Guitarist have a great day! Wait. Night? I have no idea what time it is there.

  2. "It's snowing. :( I'm on Pinterest, pinning photos of beach houses."
    that's got to be my favorite ever.
    it's therapy and the best way to cope. ever. [with snow, that is. hehehehhe]

  3. btw, i want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for not subjecting us commenters to word verification.

  4. "want kiss; get out." ahh, i love it. i think your facebook statuses have to be some of the best ones i've seen.

    p.s. that picture at the top is just awesome.


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