I Licked It, It's Mine!

verb \kə-ˈme-mə-ˌrāt\
: to call to remembrance

As you've probably noticed, I like to write lists about my kid.  I want to commemorate the things he's done, both odd and sweet (although more odd than sweet), so someday, when he's an adult, I can say, "Look what I wrote about you," and then watch him turn various shades of red.  

(Poor child, if he only knew ...)

This morning he did something particularly funny.

He was determined to take a shower despite the fact that I was taking a shower.  I said, "You can take one as soon as I'm out, now put your clothes back on."  He has this bad habit of stripping whenever (and wherever) it occurs to him that he should bathe.  Once he did it at a friend's house.  I found him standing naked in their bathroom on our first visit, yelling at me to come turn the water on for him.

Being a toddler and all, he found it extremely upsetting that he had to wait his turn for the shower.  "NO!" he screamed.  "Shower!  Me!"  (Speaking in full sentences is not high on his priority list.  Obviously.)

 "PUT YOUR CLOTHES ON!"  (I said, calmly and sweetly.)

Instead, he picked up his shorts, licked them, and said, "See?"

... Which naturally means I cannot possibly wear these anymore; they have a wet spot.

I wonder when this phobia-of-all-things-wet (minus the shower, go figure) will give way to the oh-so-boyish tendency to lick things for territorial purposes.  You know, the I licked it, it's mine thing.  (Why do boys do this?)

I see no reason why I can't paste 3 of the exact same photos of my kid in a single blog post.  
... Says the first-time mother.

Otherwise ... (and on with the list-making):

* If I put him down for a nap, he will spend the entire hour looking at picture books and periodically yelling, "THAT ONE THAT ONE THAT ONE!" which of course means he found a boat/car/train/pirate/and-or/elephant in his book and he expects it to come leaping out of the page on command.

* Thinks bottoms are hilarious (like any well-adjusted boy-child).

* Says "cookie, cookie, cookie!" in a high-pitched-mice-in-Cindarella type voice whenever he is tickling anyone's feet.  I'm not sure why he picked the word cookie; he's made it perfectly clear he knows what a real cookie is, after all.

* Wipes himself with toilet paper after peeing.  That's my fault, I told him to do it.  This practice upsets Tim daily, but until Isaac learns some manly "shake" skills, I don't want to risk finding pee-trails through the house.

* Likes to wrestle.  He doesn't quite seem to understand that whereas this is perfectly reasonable behavior when with his dad, it is not okay to kick a kid in church.  Fortunately the kid was a tough little guy (with a batman face mask) and just kicked him back.  (Which is why, whenever anyone asks me who my child is, I say - with some surprise - "Oh, he's the wild redhead running around head-butting people like a little rhinoceros.  Haven't seen him yet?  You will...")

... Tune in next time for a lengthy rendition of The Time Isaac Built A Fort Using Nothing but Food Products.  Nevermind, I don't want to relive that experience after all.


  1. ohhhh my gosh, this made me laugh.
    boys are crazy.
    some boys, especially so. ;)

    the cookie/tickle thing=hilarious.
    and head-butting children....hah. hah. hah. sorry. ohmy.
    it's an adventure having a child of your own, isn't it?? :O

  2. they aren't the same pic. Therefore, totally acceptable as well as adorable.


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