Scruffy-Looking Nerf-Herder

frip·pery noun
 : something foolish or affectedly elegant; non-essential.

I don't like Valentine's Day.  Truth be told, I'm a bit too cynical to appreciate the sheer pink-and-redness of it all.  Frippery.

It never fails to remind me of that one dreadful year I was employed as a florist on February the 14th.  To all florists: my deepest condolences. 

Can’t picture it?  I’ll give you a little taste.  There I was, surrounded by buckets upon five-gallon buckets of fresh roses in sore need of de-thorning, frantically rushing to and fro whilst carrying ribbons and balloons and frosty cellophane wrap.  The long line of absent-minded men that wound through the store and into the parking lot did not end from sun-up till well after sun-down.  I had bloody fingers, messy hair, and two or three phone numbers from men who thought it’d be a good idea to buy a rose for their sweetheart and pick up their florist. 

What’s more, these men were not afraid to request a favor:

Keep this a secret, hon, but I’m sending bouquets to three girls this year.  Which color rose implies a fling, but nothing serious?  What do you mean, you can’t pull nonexistent flowers out of thin air?  Be a darling and write my valentine note for me, love.  Her name is Susie Q.

It was a treat, let me tell you.

I had frequent visions of bolting from the store, trailing a long line of beheaded roses in my wake.  Morticia-esque.

That being said, I rather like the concept behind a celebration of love.  Valentine’s Day entirely aside.

So, just for today, I’m going to post a few quotes on that thing called love.  And just so you know, I’m using love in the loosest sense of the word.  You'll see.

Leia: Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder.
Han Solo: Who's scruffy-looking?


(What?  They fall in love.  Thus the quote is fitting.)

But she, Hope, had fallen in love with Gervain Woodhouse, and was therefore miserable.  I sorted out this curious statement eventually. 


I know our marriage has just as good a chance of being wonderful as it does of missing the mark.  There is a strong possibility that it will be both.  And, contrary to what current belief is, it has always been so.

How to Make an American Quilt

P.S. I ran into Adelaide Addison in St. Peter Port today.  By way of congratulation [for our engagement], she said “I hear you and that pig-farmer are going to regularize your connection.  Praise the Lord!”

The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society

Calvin: Who's the bimbo with you in this old prom picture?

Calvin and Hobbes

(I just like this one.)

Joe Fox: Yeah. I would have asked for your number, and I wouldn't have been able to wait twenty-four hours before calling you and saying, "Hey, how about... oh, how about some coffee or, you know, drinks or dinner or a movie... for as long as we both shall live?"
Kathleen Kelly: Joe...
Joe Fox:
And you and I would have never been at war. And the only thing we'd fight about would be which video to rent on a Sat. night.
Kathleen Kelly: Well, who fights about that?
Joe Fox: Well, some people. Not us.
Kathleen Kelly: We would never.


Verona: Burt, are we [screw]-ups?
Burt: No! What do you mean?
Verona: I mean, we're 34...
Burt: I'm 33.
Verona: ...and we don't even have this basic stuff figured out.
Burt: Basic, like how?
Verona: Basic, like how to live.
Burt: We're not [screw]-ups.
Verona: We have a cardboard window.
Burt: [Looks at window] We're not [screw]-ups.
Verona: [Whispers] I think we might be [screw]-ups.
Burt: [Whispers back] We're not [screw]-ups

(Love: figuring life out together.)


  1. I LOVE AWAY WE GO. best movie ever. even better than you've got mail, which i haven't seen since i was like 12 at your house so my memory is foggy...

  2. Okay, I have to watch Away We Go! Ayla recommended it months ago. I am writing it down.

    Your Star Wars picture reminds me of:

    Princess Leia, to Han: "I love you!" Han to Princess: "I know" Such a guy.

  3. Yes do watch Away We Go! I own that movie, I love it so much. One of the few I will repeatedly watch.

  4. Haha! This has to be one of my favorites, Laur. I remember hearing some of your "delightful" flourist anecdotes, but a couple of those were new. I have to say I find Valentine's rather tiring as well, and it always puts me in mind of that rant of Luke's:

    "I mean suddenly, on a certain date, the level of my affection for a person isn't measured by the way that I treat them or what we share. [...]
    I mean just because I didn't buy her furry slippers or a giant shoe tree, all of a sudden, I suck."

    Just the same, I too can't help but appreciate the idea behind such a holiday and I particularily liked your choice of quotes for that reason. ;) That line from Beauty always cracked me up. I remember reading it several times the first time I read the book. :D

    Happy Valentine's Day! ;)

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  6. I read Guernsey Potato.... and had forgotten that line

    "regularize your connection"


  7. Away We Go is on my list of movies I will watch again and again...along with You've Got Mail. Love the soundtracks too!

  8. ha ha!! Im actually a florist. Had my own shop for 5 years and worked 5 Valentines.... my birthday is just a few days earlier and I didnt get one for 5 years! best was a man coming in with a handful of change at 6pm to an empty shop "what can I get for this" I had to be held back... "what do you mean you havent got anything left?!?... for me to buy with my meagre offering of coins" cheeky insert expletive!!!! had the one for my mistress one for my master too... men lol.. also had some really joy and made some women very happy so it all evened out... thanks for the bloggy :)


  9. Away We Go is SO sweet. I could watch it over and over. Happy Valentine's :)

  10. Thanks for another wonderful post. Where else could anybody get that type of info in such an ideal way of writing? who's scruffy looking


( hippies always welcome )