The Kiddo

Is particularly adept at stealing my phone.  He squirrels it under the bed-covers so he can pound it with his fist and watch the buttons light up - at least until someone answers and says “HELLO?” – at which point he doesn’t want it anymore.  

Is also fond of sitting on top of me while I’m trying to write.  He rests his hand near my laptop’s touchpad, waiting for his chance to press a random button while I’m preoccupied with choosing The Right Word.  This usually results in his hitting the caps lock, and then my writing COMES OUT LOOKING LIKE THIS.

Is offended by the concept of rice pudding.  If I decide we’re going to have rice pudding rather than chocolate, he climbs into the kitchen cabinet under the sink and slams the white laminate door behind him.  I intentionally left those cabinets empty so we could store large toys in them.  I never intended for them to become his personal fort.  To each his own.

Is an artist.  Like his mama, of course.  He likes to paint the windows using my brushes and a cup of water.  He also likes to lick the water off later, but we don’t talk about that.

Is still confused by the toilet.  Don’t get me wrong, he likes to pretend to use the big toilet (as opposed to the froggy-bowl Fisher Price thought he should pee in).  Only he doesn’t actually use the toilet, he just climbs on and off so he can look inside and see if anything happened yet.  Followed by repeated flushing.

Is currently wearing a shirt as pants.  He wiggled his waist through the neckline so the whole thing comes off as a sort of skirt with arms. That's my que.

Got any stories you'd like to share about your kiddo?


  1. I just love everything you write about, and you do such an awesome job painting a picture with words. So sorry you left SC too soon, I wish I had known you were coming...
    I also love to paint, don't have my work on my blogs but a few pieces are published on facebook, hugs to you!!!

  2. Leaving an empty cabinet is genius! Just had to mention that.

    Fact about Josh: He has a word that he made up: yesternight. And at 7 I thought he shoud know that really, that isn't a word. (He came home with a paper yesternight we went to the movies...) He refuses to say last night. And you are not allowed to say yesterday if it pertains to anything after dinner. I guess his word makes sense huh? I may write into Websters....

  3. Dawn - Thanks for your kind words - your comments make me happy. I actually own a house near Clemson but am currently living in Georgia. If you don't mind me asking, where do you live in SC?

    Amanda - This made me laugh so hard. I think you should send the word into Webster. . .or at least the online MW Dictionary. Sounds perfectly reasonable to me.

    Laura - I agree, he is precious. Then again, I'm rather biased.

  4. I'm glad I made you laugh ... I think I'd take Bob over walmart. Do you know how many people call walmart? And if you don't pick up....they just keep calling. Today I finally changed our voicemail (it was the automated you have reached 555-5555, but I was getting nasty voicemails! "Whoever heard of Wal-Mart not picking up the phone." "I was calling to complain about customer service and I'm still getting bad customer service.." Blah blah blah.) So now my voicemail says "hi. This is NOT walmart. This is my home. The home of Andy, Amanda, and Joshua. If you are trying to reach walmart do not call this number again. Because it is not the correct number. I even had a lady today argue with me that it was in fact the number for Walmart. Her phone book said so. WHEW. I don't know how much more of this I can take!!! Did I mention that people call WalMart 24 hours a day. If my husband didn't work 3rd shift (if something were to go wrong he needs to get ahold of me!) I would unplug the phone. But for now...they get a groggy MEAN me answering it at 2 am.

  5. You should pretend to be WalMart, just for a little fun.

  6. Hee. I love the image of him slamming into his cabinet in a huff. I, of course, agree that rice pudding rather than chocolate is an error worthy of comment.

  7. Il semble que vous soyez un expert dans ce domaine, vos remarques sont tres interessantes, merci.

    - Daniel


( hippies always welcome )