Lunch Trauma

If you have never been a parent or a nanny, then it is quite possible you are oblivious to the utter boredom in trying to spoon feed a thirteen-month-old. I have been sitting here for fifteen minutes now, attempting to maintain the attention of someone who would just as happily eat mud as he would turkey and noodles. If it wasn't for my extreme determination to wean Isaac from bottle-mush (and by this I mean dumping the contents of the baby food jar in the bottle and adding water), then I would have given up weeks ago. I'm beginning to think I am underpaid.

Someone should invent a robot that does nothing but spoon food into a child's mouth. The only difficulty would be creating a robot that can locate the child's mouth, seeing as said child prefers to wander the room during lunch, fully expecting the food to find him. He also has trouble swallowing. I think he's trying to create a storage unit in his cheek. Or perhaps he just likes to see the look on my face when he spits everything into his hand and offers it back to me.

If learning to eat human food (Gerber products do not apply) is such a milestone in his young life, I'm thinking teaching him to read is going to kill me.

I don't even want to talk about potty-training.